Safe Space
A real safe space isn’t about protection from ideas. It’s about respect during the exchange of them.
It May Not Be What You Think
“Safe space” sounds simple, but it isn’t.
At home, it means comfort, no threat, no anxiety. Online, especially in a business or writing group, it’s something different. It’s not about being shielded from ideas. It’s about how those ideas are shared.
If you expect a place where nothing ever challenges you, you’re not looking for a safe space. You’re looking for silence.
A Place to Spew Nonsense and Not Be Challenged?
That’s not a safe space. That’s an echo chamber.
You can absolutely find places where everything you say gets a nod and a thumbs up. No pushback, no friction, no growth. And if that’s what you want for a bit, fine. Enjoy it.
But don’t confuse that with improvement. You don’t get better hearing your own voice repeated back to you.
A Place to Be Challenged, but Respectfully
This is where real value lives.
A good group will challenge your ideas. Not you as a person, but your ideas. That distinction matters. “I don’t think that’s correct” opens a conversation. “You’re wrong” shuts it down.
When people ask questions, offer alternatives, or show a different path, that’s not an attack. That’s collaboration.
Nothing Personal, Not Demeaning
Keep it about the idea, always.
Nobody cares where someone came from, what their background is, or any of that noise. If it drifts into personal attacks, it’s no longer a safe space. It’s just a mess.
You can disagree without being disrespectful. That’s the line.
Tactful Versus Definitive
How you say something matters as much as what you say.
“I don’t think that’s right” is easier to hear than “that’s wrong.” One invites discussion. The other invites defense. And once people get defensive, learning stops.
I’ve been wrong plenty of times. Somebody explains it better, shows a link, lays it out. Great. Now I know. That’s how it should work.
No Animals Were Harmed
A little humor goes a long way.
Keep things light where you can. We’re talking about books, business, ideas. This isn’t life and death. No need to act as if it is.
Final Thought
A real safe space isn’t about protection from ideas. It’s about respect during the exchange of them.
If you can handle being challenged without taking it personally, and respond with tact instead of ego, you’ll grow faster than the person hiding in an echo chamber.
Safe Space — Original Medium Article
Safe Space — Over 1000 Five Minute Focus videos on the Successful Indie Author YouTube Channel
SIA Writing Challenge website — Record Your Progress on Your Way to Becoming a Successful Indie Author
Craig Martelle is an author, leader, and entrepreneur living in Alaska. Retired from the Marine Corps military intelligence community and physical security, he graduated summa cum laude from law school and went into business consulting. From intelligence, to the inner workings of company boardrooms, to on-the-ground leadership, Craig has seen it firsthand.
He is a million-selling author of over 200 science fiction (post-apocalyptic, military sci-fi, and space opera), thrillers, and the non-fiction series, Successful Indie Author. Craig has been running author conferences since 2017, and also the Successful Indie Author Facebook Group, and the Successful Indie Author YouTube Channel.
Leadership is a service, not a crown to lord over others.
Back when we did theatre/improv/street acting, one of the things that we were taught was “Temenos” meaning safe place. It was a place where you trust the people that you are with to not back-stab you or break you down when you are learning and trying new things. It’s not that they may not correct something you are doing wrong, or mention that there is something you are missing or don’t know, that is part of the learning, and you have to trust that they have your best interest at heart (usually! There are always exceptions - use your judgement!). But, generally, it was bad news to break the Temenos. People wouldn’t trust you after that.
The same can be said about writer’s groups, beta readers and first readers/alpha readers. You have to trust them and that they want the best for you. And you have to reciprocate by being kind and grateful in return. (Don’t tell the person who just spent hours, trying their best to give concrete examples and help, that “well, That’s ‘interesting’, I’ll think about it (with a sarcastic tone).”) If you aren’t going to listen and THINK about what the reader has said, don’t bother to get readers. Not that you have to do everything they said, it’s your story, but if their advice is never in line with what you are writing, then you don’t have Temenos, and time to part ways.
Just my thoughts on it.